I am really happy right now.
I've made some good decisions, and I'm totally in a place of... goodness. :]
Like I'm finally headed toward where I belong.
Only because I've found peace with where I am, and even more than that, where I've been.
It's like. Everything has been leading up to this, just making me strong enough to handle the future. And I am very grateful to God that he doesn't give up on me. Even when I do.
One day I will look back on the experiences I've had the past two years and be very glad they happened. I'm even kind of doing that right now, although it still hurts sometimes. Actually, it's just kind of awkward. Because people like to ask questions I don't have the answers to.
I can't really narrow down the reasons why I left Harding. I'm not the same person who left. God has transformed me, and I know that I was weak and unprepared for the random things thrown my way.
I'm not pessimistic now, but I have matured and now know that the perfect fairy tale endings don't just happen. I think that I went to HU with the mindset that that was the end pretty much. Like I had lived my whole life for that moment, and it was the big happy ending. I know I didn't think I'd actually have to sacrifice big parts of me and go through major struggles without my family, and at one point without friends.
It was painful, but I know I could've made it better if I had taken different attitudes about the storms I was going through.
And God was probably calling out to me, but even when I tried to pray, I wasn't really opening myself to him.
Anyway. The point to this I guess is just that I am very very very thankful for the things I've gone through. And for the people who stuck by me.
And as for my future, I'm kind of keeping that a secret. To put it bluntly, lately people have been giving me a LOT of rather annoying advice. I guess taking a couple of semesters off of college makes people think you are a failure. Haha.. Which I am, technically. But I have made my decision and I know what I'm doing. People telling me to go to RSU or to get a job or just get married or blah blah blah... are just plain crazaaaay.
I hope I remember when I'm older to not TELL people what to do with their life, and just SHARE what I know.
Above all I think people need to follow their heart and their own dreams, or else they will regret it.
I am now going to do that. --Chase my dreams very recklessly while filled with hope and happy things.
Well obviously I'm tired and blabby.
So I shall bid you farewell.
♥
I've made some good decisions, and I'm totally in a place of... goodness. :]
Like I'm finally headed toward where I belong.
Only because I've found peace with where I am, and even more than that, where I've been.
It's like. Everything has been leading up to this, just making me strong enough to handle the future. And I am very grateful to God that he doesn't give up on me. Even when I do.
One day I will look back on the experiences I've had the past two years and be very glad they happened. I'm even kind of doing that right now, although it still hurts sometimes. Actually, it's just kind of awkward. Because people like to ask questions I don't have the answers to.
I can't really narrow down the reasons why I left Harding. I'm not the same person who left. God has transformed me, and I know that I was weak and unprepared for the random things thrown my way.
I'm not pessimistic now, but I have matured and now know that the perfect fairy tale endings don't just happen. I think that I went to HU with the mindset that that was the end pretty much. Like I had lived my whole life for that moment, and it was the big happy ending. I know I didn't think I'd actually have to sacrifice big parts of me and go through major struggles without my family, and at one point without friends.
It was painful, but I know I could've made it better if I had taken different attitudes about the storms I was going through.
And God was probably calling out to me, but even when I tried to pray, I wasn't really opening myself to him.
Anyway. The point to this I guess is just that I am very very very thankful for the things I've gone through. And for the people who stuck by me.
And as for my future, I'm kind of keeping that a secret. To put it bluntly, lately people have been giving me a LOT of rather annoying advice. I guess taking a couple of semesters off of college makes people think you are a failure. Haha.. Which I am, technically. But I have made my decision and I know what I'm doing. People telling me to go to RSU or to get a job or just get married or blah blah blah... are just plain crazaaaay.
I hope I remember when I'm older to not TELL people what to do with their life, and just SHARE what I know.
Above all I think people need to follow their heart and their own dreams, or else they will regret it.
I am now going to do that. --Chase my dreams very recklessly while filled with hope and happy things.
Well obviously I'm tired and blabby.
So I shall bid you farewell.
♥
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