happiness runs.

"Happiness runs in a circular motion
Thought is like a little boat upon the sea.
Everybody is a part of everything anyway,
You can have everything if you let yourself be."

that right there, is a good point my friends.
happiness sometimes comes hard when you're thinking all the time about things that you have lost or thinking about the future too hard. sometimes you've just got to let yourself breath and realize no matter what, you're gonna keep breathing. you're still alive.. and even if it hurts, it will pass. whatever it is.
the problem is, do you allow yourself to dwell on things because you're masochistic? sometimes reveling in my pain is just what i WANT to do. like that will help anything.
God is the only thing that can help. And as soon as you give it all to Him, it's easier to be happy.
because i realize all i needed was perspective.
if i just let myself be happy, i will be!
sure this hurts, & it will always hurt.
but it can only bring me down as much as i let it.
this crying myself to sleep every night thing stops now.
it feels good to finally have some relief in my chest.
not full relief, but i know God will be right there beside me the whole way,
until i realize that this was all smaller than i thought.
smaller than my big, strong, amazing Father.
who is on my side 100%, always looking out for my best interests.
even when i'm not.

:]

thank you God.
for You, and friends like haylee, and alan. who help me through.